Staying friends with your former spouse following your divorce can be very complicated and emotional. Because everyone’s divorce is different, there is no all-encompassing answer to the question of whether or not you should stay friends.
At the Center for Divorce Solutions, we believe that getting divorced does not have to be grueling or anxiety-ridden. Our goal is to help you have a kinder, gentler divorce which culminates in the best possible outcome for both parties. Here is some divorce advice to help you make your decision to remain friends with your ex-spouse.
Getting a divorce often feels like enduring a loss in your life, so you need to take time to grieve for your loss. The method by which you grieve and the length of time that you are grieving is different for everyone, but it is an important first step in moving forward with your life. Once you have grieved, you will also be able to think more clearly and make the decision about friendship.
Because you and your ex-spouse were so intimately connected, it may seem like second nature to just jump into a similar routine. You may want to go out together, text often, or even just tell each other how your day was. This can hinder your independence. Once you have accepted the divorce and the fact that you are no longer a couple, you should move forward in friendship slowly. A text every now and again asking how he/she is or going out for lunch on a rare occasion is ok, but don’t go overboard.
Intimacy in a marriage should not turn into intimacy in a friendship after your divorce. This could lead to confusing emotions and hurt feelings very quickly, and then any hope for a true friendship could be eliminated. If you choose to be friends, keep it platonic!
Depending on the circumstances of your divorce, there may be feelings of distrust and unease with your former partner. It will take time to re-build that trust and make the leap into friendship. It is ok if you do not feel comfortable being friends with your ex-spouse because of a lack of trust. He/she may need to earn your trust back (or vice versa) before you can accept his/her friendship.
Becoming friends with your ex-spouse means that you are putting the past behind you and focusing on the good part of friendship. It can be very easy to fall into the marriage mode and remember all of the rough parts of the relationship that led to the divorce. Stick to focusing on the positives that being friends brings.
At the Center for Divorce Solutions, we understand how difficult it can be to go through a divorce, and we know that friendship may not always be plausible. We want to help you have a kinder, gentler divorce so that you might be able to build a better relationship with your ex-spouse as a friend. Contact us for divorce advice, mediation, and help.
Leslie was so thurough and helpful in the meditation process. Her expertise definitely shows in her work and time management. The process of divorce hurts but it doesn’t have to be complicated.
Leslie was terrific. She was very clear and concise and explained all of the details we needed to know in a very straightforward manor. My ex and I were able to use her mediation services in a reasonable amount of time and complete our divorce and parenting plan without the use of expensive lawyers. She also worked with us around our busy schedules and need for babysitters to help us accomplish our goals in the time frame we needed. I would recommend her highly.
I have hired Leslie for mediation services to help my clients resolve elder law situations. I can't tell you how impressed I have been with Leslie's deliberate approach to complex issues and uncanny ability to transform seemingly unworkable conflicts into win-win agreements. Leslie it's also skilled at converting results into accurate and easy to comprehend written form. In short. you won't find a more calm, graceful, and dedicated dispute-resolution professional than Leslie Hoffman. Richard Hughes, Esq.
Knowledgeable, fair and comprehensive. Leslie Hoffman worked with me and my wife to figure out how to talk through difficult choices for divorce. Should you desire a reasonable way to navigate a separation or divorce, Leslie Hoffman provides an excellent resource for you.
Leslie did great work and was very professional with both my husband and I during a very difficult process. She demonstrated knowledge of the system, displayed patience, and an unbiased opinion. Leslie handled herself with dignity and grace in the presence of an incident of being accused of conspiracy along with an attack on her personal and professional integrity by my husband for simply answering a question I posed regarding marital assets. The accusations in no way reflected the her ethical demeanor and she responded with concern and willingness to explain the entire story in effort to clear up confusion. She articulated herself and left no questions unanswered and responded promptly to my husbands accusations. I am grateful for her presence through a trying experience and highly recommend her services.
© | divorce-solutions.org