Separation Mediation in Denver, CO

When working with divorce lawyers, each party retains separate counsel to advocate for their interests, often without the couple present. A mediator works with both parties, guiding the negotiations with the goal of mutually beneficial outcomes – not a win/lose but a result that is as equitable as possible. Hiring a divorce lawyer is typically more expensive, and the process is more time-consuming.

Yes. Divorce mediation concludes with filing all appropriate paperwork with the Court. Your agreements become an Order of the Court, which makes them legally enforceable.
In our practice, we also work with couples on things that are not legally enforceable by the Courts. For example, a conversation regarding when to introduce your children to people you are dating, or an agreement that you won’t let your children play in homes where guns are present – or issues that will come up, particularly in parenting plans. Setting couples up for successful co-parenting is more than parenting time and child support. We make it a priority to anticipate, discuss and include all appropriate factors in our parenting plans, many of which are above and beyond what the State requires.

Before your appointment, your divorce mediator will send you some homework to get started on, which includes both parties completing a Sworn Financial Statement. Knowing the value of your assets and the amount of your debt will ensure that we’re not putting things on hold for lack of information. Being unprepared will slow the process significantly. Thinking through age-appropriate schedules for your children and what holidays are important to you will help inform the decisions you make regarding your parenting plan.
During your mediation session, your mediator will ground the process by educating you on the guidelines and formulas set out by the state, creating a base of understanding on what can/cannot be negotiated. Your mediator will create a safe, neutral environment where both parties feel comfortable advocating for themselves, often asking questions or making suggestions that move the conversation towards equitable ends. Together, you will make the decisions that will inform the rest of your lives.

The length of mediation varies depending on the couple, but typically a divorce with children takes three 2-hour sessions and three hours of document preparation. A divorce that doesn’t involve minor children generally takes two 2-hour sessions and two hours of paperwork.

Yes.

Yes. We recommend dividing the cost of mediation or paying with joint funds so that both parties have a vested interest in moving it along.

Divorce is one of the most traumatic, stressful, emotionally charged events in one’s life. It is common for couples to get frustrated, emotional or argumentative at various points in the process. Having the space to express emotions through the mediation process often leads to more honest and satisfying agreements. Your mediator is trained to listen and honor your feelings without allowing them to derail the process.

Due to the volatile nature of divorce and the emotions and grievances that lead couples to split up in the first place, it’s not uncommon for one party to suspect that the other is trying to manipulate the process, or that the mediator favors one party over the other. The fact is that mediators are highly trained in neutrality and communication. We listen to both parties and do our best to communicate in a way that each party will be receptive to. We are not here to judge or favor one over the other. Our goal is to guide you to an outcome, tailored to the reality of your situation, that provides you with the best possible way to move forward with your lives.

Yes. Colorado is a ‘no-fault’ state, meaning that the cause of the divorce, including infidelity, has no legal bearing on the settlement.

In the State of Colorado, a person can file for and be granted a divorce, regardless of whether both parties want the divorce. This is one aspect of being a ‘no-fault’ state. Upon agreement, you could file for a Legal Separation, which would create a parenting plan and divide your assets and debts. You would then receive a Decree of Legal Separation, and you must wait 6 additional months to convert a Legal Separation to a Dissolution of Marriage. In those six months, you could give yourselves time to reconcile with the help of a marriage counselor. If you agree to give it another chance, your mediator can help you figure out what the two of you will do to move you toward reconciliation – and what are the deal breakers.

Child support is based on a formula provided by the State of Colorado. You can always pay more – but almost never can you pay less without a Court order.

No. Your mediator will serve as the advocate for your children as you go through the process of creating your parenting plan.

Yes. Your mediator will help you determine the fair division of assets. This part of the process will outline what is required by law, while leaving room for more personalized decision-making, taking into account that on-going needs might be very different for each party. You have the ability to decide in what way your assets and debts need to be divided so that each of you can move forward.

Your house will be among the assets on the table for division, and it’s different in every case. Sometimes a couple chooses to sell their home and split the net proceeds; other times, one party retains the home and gives the other’s party their share of the equity. In the case of a party retaining the home, it’s important to agree on how to value it, to determine if you will qualify for the mortgage, to see if you can afford the mortgage payment on your own – or want to.

Anything you had in retirement accounts prior to marriage is considered personal property. However, any increase in value since marriage is deemed marital property. To separate a 401k or a pension, you need special paperwork, a Qualified Domestic Relations Order [QDRO], that comes from the plan manager. There are no tax consequences in dividing those assets during the course of a marriage.

The State of Colorado uses the term “maintenance” to refer to spousal support. The minimum amounts are set forth in a Guidelines Formula. Unlike child support which is practically set in stone, maintenance is negotiable. In mediation we look at what each party needs to be able to move forward financially, and we can work from there to determine what is fair and reasonable for your unique circumstances.

You’ve already found us! Leslie Hoffman, founder and principal mediator at Center for Divorce Solutions, brings over 30 years of experience in divorce mediation. Her ability to guide divorcing couples to mutually beneficial agreements and productive parenting plans has made her the go-to for divorcing couples in Denver.

Because courts in Colorado often require couples to attempt mediation before escalating to a contested hearing, many lawyers have added mediation to their practice. Therapists and others in helping professions are also attracted to mediation. While both are admirable, neither guarantees a better, more qualified mediator.
We recommend doing your research, reading reviews and having an introductory conversation to make sure you feel comfortable with your mediator. This is an intimate, often emotional process and we want you to feel safe and supported every step of the way.

If the question is, can you meet your mediator before hiring her, the answer is yes. We offer a ½ hour free consultation for just that purpose. But when working with clients, we believe in complete transparency. Whenever possible we prefer to meet with both parties in the same room at the same time. All conversations, including email communications, should include both parties. However, any one-on-one conversation with a party is held in strict confidentiality.